If we were to pursue international adoption, we are leaning toward adopting from Korea. Since we're living in another country right now and being a bi-racial couple, I'm not sure whether I'm up for the challenge of adding another culture on top of what we have currently going. But, perhaps that might be just what God may have in store for us. I'm open but my preference is to adopt from Korea, if possible. My feeling is that the kid would at least look like one of the parents and will blend in fine here. Also, if we ever return back to the States, he/she would have cousins, uncles and aunts with whom he/she can relate with culturally and ethnically. I wonder if it would provide some continuity for the child and everyone involved.
However, as I have been doing my research, I am learning that because I live overseas, Korea adoption may not be possible. I have yet to find an agency that is willing to work with overseas ex-pats. Although I qualify for the Korean heritage program (from Dillon Adoption Agency) which gives priority to Korean-Americans in adopting from Korea, we were informed that the agencies from Korea do not approve ex-pats living overseas. I need to find out more, but this is the response I have been getting. I haven't given up yet, but maybe Korea may end up not being a viable option for us.
If Korea adoption is not possible, I'm not sure from where we would adopt. I'm a little hesitant about adopting from where we are mainly because I'm concerned that the kid would grow up feeling rejected from his/own people because of us. I'm afraid that the the people here may not fully accept him/her because he/she has foreigners as parents. I think if I was living in the States, I don't think it would be of a huge concern, but I do wonder what it would be like for the child as he/she grows up in this context.
I'm still exploring embryo adoption and I am fascinated by the idea. The biggest concern is how would I feel if it failed? A part of me feels like if we get a good match, maybe it would be worth giving it a try. It just feels like the simplest solution.
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3 comments:
thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. it's good to hear about your process.
Hi Rebecca,
I just read your blogs. Thank you for being honest with what you are going through. I really appreciate your being able to process this way. I understand the huge debate of what to do next. We struggled with those same questions ourselves. We are now waiting for our referral from China (the papers just got sent over after a few years of "figuring it out") but I still hear some of those comments from "walking on eggshells". Which sometimes seems worst ("maybe you'll still get pregnant", "now you'll get pregnant" - as if adopting is the cure to infertility...)
Anyways, just wanted to encourage you to continue to seek God's will for YOUR family. Your answer will be unique as you and Paul are unique.
Love,
Andrea
Hi ladies,
Thanks for your comments.
Andrea--I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I'd appreciate your prayers. I'm really excited to hear that you are pursuing adoption from China! :) If I have any questions about it, can I email you? BTW, which agency did you decide to use? I'll be praying for you guys too. All the best!
tealeaf-- :)
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